RIP Brittany Murphy

R.I.P. BRITTANY MURPHY

Well, Brittany Murphy has passed away... so sad :( I really liked her! Such a unique actress and as all the famous people have said, she always had a bright smiling face... I'm sure it had something to do with drugs... with the eractic behavior that was reported recently and the passing out on movie sets...

So sad...

Day...... NEXT..... : /

Okay… so obviously this month cycle did not work out.. : /

I didn’t ovulate… CAN NOT believe it… My cycles are NEVER late… so NOW, they are worried I MIGHT have an ovulatory disfunction…

This cannot be, seriously.. it’s always something holding us back. I mean I can’t lie, I see everyone on their facebooks with their babies and I do get a little jealous and wonder if I will ever have that. Yea yea, people say we can adopt… but A LOT of money goes into adopting and it takes a long time. Not to mention, we’re no where close to being able to afford adopting right now… exp since the Invitro is eating up any extra money we may have.

Dr.D said that we should try the cycle again in January with OUT fertility treatments… he said this could have been a funky cycle…

I’m hoping it is … I mean I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve ever been late for my period!
BUT…. The good news is… I’M LATE FOR MY PERIOD! Which means I probably did just have a funky cycle… probably my body is stressed from everything thing… so hopefully I can get my pd on track next month and we can get pregnant!

I joined this message board for Invitro and infertility women and it’s amazing what women have to go through… I mean to think I’m only in the beginning of what COULD BE… So many women suffer from infertility and miscarriages and stillbirths… as my mother in law said… it’s truly a MIRACLE that babies are born in the first place. There are SO many things that can go wrong even IF you DO get pregnant!

I mean all in all, you can ONLY get pregnant ONE day out of the month, the sperm HAS to be strong enough to fertilize the egg then there’s 10 months for something to go wrong!

I will count my lucky stars if we get pregnant and have one baby, I will be thankful for just one… I find myself praying for just one and that’s all I want.
I had a dream a couple nights ago… well I have pregnant dreams ALL the time just because it’s always on my mind… but this dream was SO REAL… Have you ever had those dreams where you wake up and wonder… Did that really happen? And it takes a minute for you to decide that was just a dream?
Well this was one of those. I dreamt I was bout 6 or 7 months pregnant and it was a normal day doing , whatever and when I went to bed, I had to sleep on my side… because I couldn’t sleep on my stomach with my big belly! Well, then I woke up and I was laying on my stomach… ( I ACTUALLY WOKE UP) … I started freaking out because I thought I killed my baby… then I had to think.. wait, that was a dream… I wasn’t pregnant.
It was soooo surreal…. I was freaked out all day, it felt SO real.

So anyhow, I’m going to try and enjoy the Holidays with family and friends and try and keep my mind off the baby thing as much as I can… so I don’t continue to stress myself out….

Yes… easier said than done….

DAY 17 ........

EXPLANATION OF THE FOLLICLE STAGE OF THE CYLCE:

The follicular stage lasts for about the first 14 or 15 days of the cycle from the first day of the period. During this phase, the release from the ovaries then the maturation of a number of follicles takes place, however only the most mature one of these follicles will produce an egg capable of being fertilised. A follicle is driven to maturity by the secreted hormone FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone).

As the follicles mature, they release the hormone estrogen. This makes the uterus wall thicken and the cervical mucus to alter it's consistency.

The Ovulation: As the FSH levels and estrogen levels rise, the secretion of large amounts of another hormone, LH (Leutenising Hormone) is triggered. This rise in LH provokes the most mature follicle to burst open and release an egg from the ovary into the fallopian tube.

As soon as the egg is freed, it is helped along the tube by tiny horn-like fronds that line the fallopian tube. The egg is now in a fertilisable state in a window of about 24 hours.

(Taken from: http://www.paternityangel.com/Articles_zone/How_it_happens/How-1.htm)



So I had another check up this morning, my follicles aren't maturing. This isn't good. Anything could be going on... My cycle could just randomly be acting up this month... which is odd because my cycle is ALWAYS on time... NEVER late. It's VERY frustrating and I just want to scream.... I knew it was too good to be true, to finally be getting pregnant.

No matter what, now we have to find out why my follicles aren't maturing. As you can see of the explanation above, this is very important to getting pregnant at all.

I'm trying to stay confident but it gets hard when there's always something standing in the way of moving forward. I just have to stay hopeful....