So many good things in my life... but if I'm not happy with ONE thing... CHANGE IT.

I believe most people struggle with... maybe being jealous of parts of other peoples lives. With all of our lives blown up on facebook with pictures and "status updates" and conversations held online for all to see, I think it's almost impossible for people to not see these parts of our lives that we show everyone and not get jealous about something. It's that part of us that always thinks the grass is greener on the other side, I guess. For me, I generally think of facebook as a way to show of my son.. now anyway... and I love to post things so all my family can keep up to date on what is going on and how he is growing up. However, of course I have done a little... "facebook stalking". You know, you start looking at one persons page which leads you to another and another and so on.. the one thing I get jealous of is when I see girls I knew or know pics and they look so skinny, so good in all their cute outfits, I can't help but think... Ugh, that used to be me! I used to look so cute in everything I tried on and now it takes me hours at the mall to find ONE black, plain dress that I simply decide is acceptable to wear out. After I got back to work when Maddox turned 3 months, I began Weight Watchers and I was working out and I started running as well. I was losing weight and feeling good... but then, as a lot of moms might say, I got 15 pounds from my pre prego weight and the weight loss just stopped. Well, as motivated as I WAS... somewhere along the line I began to get unmotivated as the weight loss started to slow down and what seemed like it completley stopped. So now I am completley off of Weight Watchers, which by the way for a nursing mother is an AMAZING weight loss plan, I promise all you nursing mothers out there.. .it DID WORK FOR ME. I lost quite a bit a of weight on it. I gained over 60 pounds when I was pregnant with my son... I've lost almost all of that weight. Before I got pregnant I was working on losing weight... I was not unhealthy by any means and I still looked great it outfits I chose and right now, I'd love to get back to that weight.. but back then, of course I thought I needed to lose more and, knowing how I felt my goal is to get 10 pounds UNDER my pre prego weight. Right now, I feel so ... I'm trying to think of the word.. depressed about my weight comes to mind but I'm not totally depressed... i know I can get it off, but I know it's going to be MUCH harder from here on out. First off because as you get older and after you have a baby it's just more difficult to get the weight off, but also because when you have a husband and a child it just becomes increasingly difficult to "diet"... whether you call it a diet or a lifestyle change it's the same darn thing! The fact is, I told myself while I was pregnant... I'm going to eat whatever I want, whatever I crave because this is the time in my life I can... well, why am I doing it now? I have no excuse... my son is going to be 9 months old in 4 days so I can't say I JUST had a baby anymore. Come on Amanda, let's do this! Let's get this weight off. The fact is I know what it's like to feel good about myself and the fact is, I'm happier with myself and everyone else around me if I feel good in my skin. I know what I need to do to get there... so I NEED TO DO IT!

Now... I'm not setting an unrealistic goal, I don't think. I know I will never be the girl on the left ever again. That was 23 year old crazy party girl when all I had time to do was go to work, go to the gym and party in the evening. Oh how my life has changed now :) And let me tell you, I EXTREMELY happy with my life now, so don't misunderstand me. The only think I'm not happy with, is my body... hey I'm a woman... :)
One thing I remember from my childhood is hearing my mom complain about her weight, expecially when we went shopping... I used to think, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT IF YOU'RE THAT UNHAPPY! And she finally did once we got older and she looks amazing :) I'm telling myself...
If you're not happy with something, CHANGE IT.
So my goal is, I need to lose around 25 more pounds.... I think I could be happy with myself then.

Update on the family:
I'm a stay at home mom which I've wanted since I birthed my beautiful baby boy. Of course I've had thoughts since I have been a mom about going back to work. NOT because I am tired of being a stay at home mom... only because I am so used to having my own money.... I know that is so selfish to say. But I'm so used to be very independent and for the first time in my life I have to rely on someone else.. my husband. He's doing an amazing job taking care of us, but it has been difficult from an independent woman stand point, that's for sure! I have had a couple interviews for jobs.... I mean if I were to get a really good deal, I know that I should work... so we can save more money and set up a better life for Maddox... BUT I dread the day I have to leave my son on the week days again and miss him while I work. Who knows, maybe I can find a happy medium and find a job that allows me to work from home a couple times during the week. SO CONFUSED on that front... On one hand I feel guilty for thinking about going back to work... am I being selfish? Or by NOT going back to work am I being selfish? I don't know...
I was actually sitting out on my deck the other evening just looking at the stars... just getting some air and enjoying one of the ncie evenings we've had.... yea I know, sounds corny, outside looking at the stars ahah. I had just gone outside and Maddox and Justin were snuggling in the bed with each other watching TV. I felt such joy. I felt sooo lucky.. because I rememer the days I thought I would NEVER have this. I remember the nights I cried, praying to god with all the promises of what I'd do if he'd give me what I want.
Now, I have it and I mope about my weight. Seems so small in the whole scheme of things. I know that at least.

All I know for sure in my life right now is, my husband and my son make me the happiest woman in the world... fat or skinny ;)

UPDATE on my scattered life!

Hey everyone... I know, I know... worst blogger ever alert! I keep promising to get back into this and something just keeps coming up... life.

SO... Since I last wrote you here's what's been going on.

Going to work and missing my son was no fun... I missed Maddox so much. Well, to make matters worse work decided to cut almost everyone's pay. Well, I had to make a decision. At this point, getting a pay cut made it not worth it to work for me and be away from my son. If I have to be away from him... I better be making, number 1, what I deserve and Numer 2, enough to counter balance the time away from my son. SO, I decided it wasn't enough and I decided to leave my job. I gave them my notice and made sure to leave on good terms. Was I nervous? Heck yes! I have NEVER... EVER , not had a job since I was 14 years old. I had never left a job without having another job! I felt I had to go with my gut feeling with this was the right thing to do in my life at this time. JK Pest & Termite, owned by my husband, has been doing so well. The fact is, Justin works 7 days a week, morning to evening and he's doing really well. As long as the finances are done properly, he is making plenty to support us. In a way, with Justin gone so much working, I feel maybe Maddox was being slighted a bit with me being at work during the week all day and Justin being at work... well all the time!

So, I've now been home for a month... I do absolutley love being at home with my baby boy. It's such a joy to know that I can wake up and be with him all day long. I started out helping Justin with the business.. working up new marketing ideas. We'll see how they do!

SO, now after being home, my son is crawling all over the place AND he's pulling himself up on everything reaching distance. Our most recent challenge... sippy cups! OH MAN, he does NOT like sippy cups. I'm told eventually he'll get it, but he just doesn't seem interested... which I'll be honest, makes me not interested in giving it to him! He makes a complete mess, spitting juice and water all over the place on every try. Well... I'll keep trying and keep you updated on that!

You know what else is cool? Seeing that Maddox has learned how to work his toys now! You know, he know's what to do to make this toy make noise... or this toy to lite up! It's so amazing to see this little spongy brain soak everything in! He has also learned to pull all of his toys out of his toy basket... ha... that's fun apparently.

What is a pain? Well.. the crawling behind the couch every minute I don't look at him.. so I have to climb behind the couch... in between that and the railings... oh man.. that's a pain. ha.

Stay at home mom... let's see how I do! :D

Making some changes

I'm trying to make some changes lately. We need to save money and I've also taken over the Accounting part of JK Pest & Termite business for my husband. We need to be VERY aware of what we are spending.

However, I don't feel like my house can't look nice still! So, I've taken up crafting! I have quite a few friends who take old and make them new! One in particular is Shannon Vaughan Danis! She's wonderful at this!
Well, I just want you all to know... if I can do it... believe me, you can! I've been going crazy because I can't go to all the stores and get the expensive decor I really want. Well, if I can't buy it... why not do my best to make it?!

I'll keep you all up to date... currently I'm working on Maddox's bathroom! This is going to be whale themed bathroom!

While I've begun this process... I want you to know I've already gotten TONS of ideas from PINTEREST.COM! WOW... you thought facebook was addicting? NOPE... Pinterest is SO addicting! I have to thank Natalie Brown for sending me the invite to join! I simply can't get enough of this site!

About Food:

Last night I went to Poste in DC, for restaurant week with some of my girl friends. I had a really great time. This was my first time going to resaurant week and I must say... I can't see myself skipping out on it again! Although it's hard to rip myself away from my little guy... I have to admit, it was nice to just hang out with the girls, let loose and have some good food... and a couple glasses of vino! I actually had a couple bites of BASS.... And.... drumroll please***** I liked it! I wouldn't say love and I'm not sure I would order it, but... I did like it. I actually had the vegetarian dish... not because I'm a vegetarian... however I could never see myself eating... BABY GOAT! ;) The desert... AWESOME! And now to the service... NOT so great. We all talked about how there was about 3 people serving us but our drinks took a while to get served and well there wasn't much of the "How are you doing, do you need anything else"... so we were not impressed with the service.
BATHROOMS?.... As long as you don't mind walking out of the restaurant, into the hotel connected, up the two flights of stairs.... past the to wasted girls tumbling all over the place... and down a couple halls... then sure, they aren't too far... ( Can you sense my sarcasm?)
Well, we'll see what the next restaurant week comes up with. :D



About Maddox:

Maddox now has FOUR teeth total! Three on the top, One on the bottom! Can you believe it? One more day and my son will be 7 MONTHS OLD! Too fast.... too fast, that's all I can say!
So, he is sitting up like a big boy! All by himself! He's grabbing toys, grabbing everything in front of him! He's aware of everything going on around him and is SO inquisitive! He has this sponge soaking look on his face all the time! He's just taking it ALL in. Now... he's working on the crawling... he gets around... somehow scooching or turning, who knows... such small movements we have no idea how he gets from one end of the room to the other.. it's like he only does it when we're not looking! Ha.

Well, he got up on his hands and knees and did the rocking thing one day... and now won't do it again. Justin found the rocking hilarious as he says... Why is he humping the ground??? "Awe, that's my boy!" Justin says... Oh man. Although... I must admit, it does strangely look like he's quickly humping the floor and I can't help but burst out laughing like a child myself. haha.

Maddox... focusing... "How do I do this..."

"Dude... mom! Stop taking pics!"

BLOGGING:

SO... My next stop on the blog is to take pictures! I know, blogs are SO much better with some pictures to go with them! So from now on, i'll add pics to my blogs. :D EXP with my new crafts I'll be working on.

I'm starting this post not sure what it's going to end up as...

Sorry it's been a MONTH since the last post... Being a mommy, a full time working mommy and a wifey is a lot of work and keeps me pretty busy! On top of that work has been getting increasingly more busy every day... ugh. Is this a good thing?... Yes, because when I'm busy it makes my day go by so much faster... is it a bad thing? Yes, because the more busy I am the more stressed I get.. of course. While I do my best to not sweat the small stuff... sometimes the small stuff does make me sweat. I do my best to say... I can only control what I do... not what others do... but sometimes I ignore myself. ha.

Over the past month we've been on a couple vacations, we've figured out that Maddox absolutely loves the beach and the pool... water baby is what we have! I LOVE it! He is such a goooood baby! Justin and I go so lucky with our guy! He naps on the beach in the shade and then plays in the water or even just sits and plays in his pool on the beach! I can't tell you how much I love hearing what a good baby he is from people! It makes me so proud of my little guy! I mean I think he is a GREAT baby, so good... but you never know if you just think that because YOUR the mommy.... so when others confirm it's true... it makes you feel good!

Let's hope that Mister Maddox keeps his calm demeanor throughout his life. I do love his laid back personality but he also knows how to let out chuckles and laughs that just brighten my day!

If I could have any wish at all in the world... it would be to be a stay at home mommy and stay with my love bug.

Well, I also noticed I never shared pictures of Maddox's room! SO, My next blog I'll share the pictures of Maddox's room :D

PS... What do ya know... this one ended up being about Maddox mainly.. ha, so this is my life :D

Till next time, happy blogging!

Teething for my Gerber baby ... Oh Joy!

Maddox cut his first tooth!! It happened June 24th! A couple days prior to that, he randomly started getting very fussy! He was even up off and on all night, crying... and this was not a "whine" cry, this was "Something HURTS mommy!" cry... I felt awful for him! I tried tylenol, that only made it worse cause it made him more tired and cranky... he was literally crying in his sleep. We finally got him to sleep for the night by around 3 AM... then he got back up at 6AM. The following day his gum had a white dot... i thought.. could it be? And I convinced myself... No, it's too early for a tooth!
Next day, I look in Maddox's mouth... there it is! a tooth popped right out!!!!!! I can't believe my baby boy is growing up!!!!!!!!!! I teared and felt like everything is going too fast... everything seems to be happening one right after another!

*** Let me tell you... I'm not real used to Maddox crying a lot.. we got so lucky with such a good baby! With Justin working 7 days a week, sometimes it can be hard, I feel horrible for my baby boy cause there is nothing I can do, besides slapping on tons of Orajel and giving him Tylenol occasionally. WHICH, I'm not a fan of giving him Tylenol... sometimes it makes him pass out so hard, it freaks me out! But while he has a second tooth he's cutting now, he's happier if I give him Tylenol and Orajel right before he goes to bed... still wakes up a little but not as much as off the Tylenol.... I wish I could teeth for my boo boo... I hate hearing his pain cry!!!! But I think he's being a trooper because most of the time, it's only night time he gets upset.***

The next day, he was at his Mimi's house (Justins moms) and she called me... said she walked out of the room, came back in and Maddox was all the way across the room. She thought, "How did you get there?" She moved him back on his mat... then noticed he scoots on his back, pushing with his strong legs!
I couldn't believe it! He's figuring out ways to get around already! Next couple days I put him on his back and he's scooting like crazy!!!!! WOW, How time flies!


I took this pic when I found his tooth.. it was too hard to get a pic of the actual tooth.. but i will, eventually!

NOW, On to GERBER BABY! My lil chunky monkey has been entered into the Gerber Baby generation contest. He could win a $50,000.00 Scholorship!!!!! I'm so hoping... there is 129,000 babies entered so far... today is the last day for entries... We'll see if he has a chance :D
Considering, to me, he's the cutest baby on this PLANET!!!!!!!

I love my baby boo!


Below is a copy of the entry!

AND, The pic I used:

Working out.. feeling good... let's try running!

I've been working out every day at lunch time... I'm feeling good! I've been doing weight watchers for a while now and it's been working great as well. I just felt like my weight was stuck and I stopped losing it so quickly so I needed to add working out.
Of course I'm losing weight again... YAY! BUT... I feel like I'm not losing it fast enough... SO, I had decided I wanted to start running.. on top of working out at the gym 5 days during the week, I will add in running, 3 times a week.

I was actually telling my friend Hila that I was beginning to run... she is a big runner, so I thought I'd ask if she had any tips for me. She has got me thinking about training for a 3K... I'm not sure I can do it yet... we'll see how my foot holds out running 3 times a week.

Last night was my first time running outside... I made it 12 MINUTES... Haha... wow, running is HARD. I used to run with my dad.. in my skinny days and more in shape days... I don't remember it being so... awkward? Guess I need to get used to it and guess as I lose this extra flabby skin still hanging around from Maddox's birth, I'll feel better about running as well.

Of course, i need to work on my self esteem a bit... As I was running, every single person I see all I can think is, they look at me and say, "ha, look at that flab bouncing up and down... she's not going to last long". I know, it's pathetic... why should I care what they think? I'm doing this so I get rid of the flab!!!!! I'm doing this so I feel better, not so other people can feel better! So while working out and working on my figure, I'll be working on my self esteem and worrying about me and not what other people think.
I should be proud of this flab! This is from the miracle baby my husband and I created, I should wear it with pride................ but not for too much longer ;)

Something I've heard... 10 Months to put on the weight, 10 months to take it off... let's see if I can take it off in... 7 months!

Full time working mommy with a part time job to add?

Tired mommy... is an understatement!

This is how my days have gone lately... Wake up, 6:00AM to my wonderful little guy, Maddox. Happy boy, playing, feed him, change his diaper and play some more! Get him ready to go to Mimi's house for the day. Give him lovies, then rush to get myself ready, out the door by 8:15AM to go to work. Lunch time comes, go to the gym... then back to work :/
I get home, to play with my little love bug some more. I cook dinner, feed Maddox dinner, eat dinner (Justin and I take turns with who eats dinner first)... Then, play with Maddox while Justin enters all his work for the day into the computer...
*Side note: My husband owns a pest control business, this is his 4th year and going strong! *
Then, I give Maddox a bath, give him his night time feeding, then off to bed he goes around 8:30 / 9:00PM.
Afterwards, I get onto the computer and continue learning Quickbooks and all about Accounting. Yes, I'm teaching myself right now. Justins business has been getting so busy, it's time to do the accounting correctly.. time to figure out how to budget each month and save so he can hire someone SOON... he works 7 days a week currently and that's NO fun for me and Maddox to go to all the weekend cookouts and parties all by ourselves.
I mean don't get me wrong.... I love having Mr. Maddox all to myself ;) but he loves his daddy too and wants to see him more during the weekend!

So last night I spent a very late night working on JK Pest ... only to wake up EARLY with Maddox, 5AM this morning ... I fed him and prayed he'd go back to sleep... NOPE.. He's wide-eyed and ready to play!!!! Oh how can I be grumpy when such a beautiful angel is looking at me, cooing and smiling, begging me to play!? He instantly puts me in a great mood... although, as soon as I'm out of the door, on my way to my full time job... extremely tired... I'm put into a not so good mood anymore. Until I get home later and see my boo's face once more :)

We've decided to finally hire a financial planner to help us get everything together! I met with one yesterday and he seems sincere. I hope this works out! He's offered to clean the accounting up then show me how to maintain it. So I'm very excited to get started!

We have goals... we just need a PATH to get to the goals we've set. So the financial planner will hopefully be the guide for this!

Wish us luck and... if you or anyone you know needs pest control... Give us a call!

JK PEST & TERMITE
www.Jkpest.com
703-622-2450
jkpest@live.com

CONGRATS NATALIE BROWN.... SOON TO BE GOODMAN!

First off, shout out to NATALIE BROWN and CHRIS GOODMAN, on their engagement! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited for Miss Natalie :D

What an AMAZING proposal story :D Good Job Chris!



He even thought of having photographers there to catch the whole wonderful moment!




BEAUTIFUL ring!!!!!!!!!!!!





Now... I miss my wedding! Ha.. why does your friends weddings do this to you? I wish I could plan another wedding for myself! I mean... don't get me wrong... I LOVED my wedding but why can't I have another? I keep saying to Justin... we need to have a 5 Yr, renewal of vows... like every 5 years... then we can have a party. Ha... as long as there is open bar.. I'm sure no one will mind!

Do you ever wonder... how many times the guest list will change every 5 years? Let me ask you... would you have all the same people at your wedding now... that you did back when you got married? Our lives change SO often... it's hard to keep all the same people in your life! I think I've done a pretty good job with keeping most people in my life... but there is a few people I would probably not invite now... and a few that I didn't invite that I would now! Our lives are ever changing.

Natalie, if I give you any advice at all... without your request, it's this... Don't put too much thought in your guest list... you never know who will be there in the future... stick to family and friends who have always been there for you. And, if anyone gets upset for not being invited OR if they get upset they can't bring a date... screw them! They aren't a real friend then. Have FUN planning this wonderful day and take the stressful moments with a grain of salt. You only get this day once, so enjoy everything running up to... don't close your eyes for this fast ride... keep them wide open! Take breaths and look around... it's just one more moment in your life and cherish it while you have it!

KING BED!

We got a new bed!... A KING BED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!
We just got the mattress and matress pad today :) We'll get the bed frame (below) in about a week and a half.. which I can't WAIT for because I HATE mattresses being on the floor... SO TACKY!




Well, there's my tid-bit for the day... I'll have more next week... until then, have a GREAT weekend everyone!

Being a mommy ALWAYS comes first!

I love my baby... I'm pretty much obsessed with him... I can't get enough of his sweet smiles, joyful giggles and even his sour face pouts! He's the light in my life! As I always sing to him... he's my sunshine. I'm pretty sure I'm good at putting Maddox first... the problem is, I'm having trouble putting myself anywhere!
As soon as I get home, all I want to do is play with him, love him, hold him! On the weekends, I spend as much time as I can just playing with him and making him smile or laugh... I find I don't eat as healthy as I should and it's been SO difficult to get to the gym ... the main thing on my mind is being a mommy!
HOWEVER... I do look in the mirror often and say... ew... look away! I can't stand that skin dangling from my belly where it was stretched to the max and ruined my beautiful flat tummy... Then I tell myself... DUH, it was totally worth it! And I go back to my baby.... the problem is.. what am I going to do to get my body back?
I'm tired of people telling me.. "You'll never get your previous body back", well I want to prove them wrong! PLENTY of women get there body back.. it just takes hard work... BUT how do you put in that hard work when in your free time you just want to be with your baby boy?

So I'm currently doing weight watchers diet... which I am loving. I feel fulfilled AND they have a "Nursing Mothers Diet", so I still produce plenty of milk for my guy. Now ... the tricky part, gym... finding the time! Well, I already know, the ONLY time I will go to the gym is when I dont have Maddox, which is during my lunch time during the week. Well, I planned on starting as soon as I got back to work.... that was... a month and a half ago ... oops :)
I just got so used to running errands at lunch time, because that's the only time I don't have Maddox, so it's easier to get things done!

The procrastination is done with... TODAY, I went to the gym at lunch and worked out for an hour... I feel rejuvenated! You know that feeling, like you HAD to have lost some weight cause you feel so good! Really??? You worked out ONCE... so I look in the mirror... sure enough.. still, EW.
Yes, I knew that I wasn't going to be happy with myself right away, but don't you just wish you could, PROMISE to continue to work out and the weight would come off as soon as you decided to do this? Then, if after a week, you didn't work out, you would gain the weight back.

Yea... I know, isn't going to happen!

So until miracles can happen... or we become rich and I can get lipo... I guess I'll stick with weight watchers and the gym.... I need to look decent in at least a one piece by July.. and I need to look damn hott by the end of August! I have tons of weddings to go to after August!

MADDOX LEE KIMMEL is born :D

Our beautiful son was born on January 20, 2011 @ 6:35 PM. He weighed 7LBS. 2 Oz. and 19.5 Inches of total perfection!

So... I went through over 30+ hours of labor... I got to 8 cm. dilated and Mr. Maddox decided to tilt his head to the side... which forced him to stay right where he was and couldn't come down anymore... so I had to have a C-Section. I was SO upset... I wanted to have a vaginal birth for him so badly, I wanted to experience it. I guess that just wasn't the plan for us. So, after being SO tired from labor... I went into have my C-Section... which I won't even tell you the BAD experience I had.
I've heard C Sections are better then a vaginal birth from some people... but c section SUCKED for me.
My husband was amazing through the whole process though. He was there for me , as I lay on the surgery table simply crying and saying... " Owy, owy, owy, owy" and the anethesiologist saying, " Can you feel it?" While I have no energy to answer or listen other then to say "Owy, owy owy"... I felt like I was 6 years old again and couldn't articulate how it hurt. THEN... All of a sudden I felt a huge pressure, I felt them pull him out... I hear a cry, I'm looking around and Justin says, "Honey, he's over here!" ... I look in the warm light and the nurse is holding him up so I can see him.. I see this messy, pale, screaming baby... with... BLONDE, CURLY HAIR??? All I could say was... "OMG, He is so beautif....." then, the shot of morphine put me out.
Next thing I woke up and my husband was sitting in the chair next to me, holding our baby boy! It was amazing... although I noticed... this baby has BLACK hair! Later, when I saw the pictures, I realized the light was shining so brightly on him, it reflected off of him... which that in turn with all the drugs I was on, i just saw blonde hair. ha.
So, for the first hour, I kept trying to fight the morphine, I still hadn't held my son! I was shaking profusely from all the meds and I kept passing out every 5 minutes, then forcing myself to wake up... I begged to hold him but Justin says..."Honey your whole body is shaking... you can't hold him yet..." So I finally got my body under control and he gave me the baby... probably 2 hours after he was born.
I will never be able to explain the feeling I had... there is truly no words. I loved this boy more then anything that could EVER exist in this world. How could he be SO perfect?
And so began, the wonderful journey of becoming a mother... and I've fallen more and more in love with my son EVERY DAY since then!

Some main pics of family and Maddox :)


Happy Mommy with baby Maddox


I'm so happy to see Justin become a daddy!

My sister, Sabrina... the long wait over. She was so happy, she was BALLING!

Beautiful pics my sister took at the hospital.

Maddox Lee Kimmel

My sister, Justin and Maddox

My friend Michelle Wells took these beautiful pics at the hospital!


Justin, so happy to be a daddy... I love them both so much!

My besty, she was there for the whole time!


Paw-Dad, (Justins dad)
Mimi, (Justins Mom)
Nana, My mommy

R.I.P. Rockie

Three days before I was scheduled to be induced, Rockie ( our wonderful Lab/ coon hound/ shepard mix) took a turn for the worst. He had been going through a lot of issues for the past 6 months but had been getting better.
Well, all of a sudden we noticed bruises on his belly.. with in a week his whole tummy was like a huge black and blue bruise... it was internal bleeding.

We had done everything we could to make Rockie better but it was now time to make a choice... How could this happen??? Rockie is the best dog in the world, the most loyal, he's been here for me through thick and thin, the one that listened to me when I needed someone to talk to. He gave amazing hugs and he was an AMAZING dog. I just wanted Maddox to know Rockie. I had been praying that Rockie would get through his sickness and be there for Maddox, atleast for the first 5 years... was that too much to ask? Rockie was only 8 years old... I wasn't ready to let him go.

But, we had to, I couldnt watch him suffer and be in pain, he couldnt get up anymore and he was only holding on because I couldnt let him go. We took him to the vet and said our goodbyes. Justin ( my husband ) couldnt stay in the room. My father was there with me and also my friend Brent (which was my ex boyfriend who originally got Rockie with me).
I held Rockie and gave him so much love and pet his ear, the way i always do, i held his paw and I told him it was okay. I promised I'd see him again and I promised Maddox would know about him. I told him how much I loved him. He looked up at me as I kissed his nose, he finally fell asleep. In moments he was gone. And I was heart broken.
I walked out of the room and my husband held me as I cried. We finally got to the car, I didnt want to leave Rockie... My mom pulled up from Va Beach just in time... she got there to be there for me.

Though this was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through, my mom did make an astonishing discovery for me... she told me, "Amanda, do you realize what Rockie did for you? He waited, he spent all the time he could with you, then he decided it was time because he didn't want to be a burden when you were reaching a time in your life that is the hardest. He chose this time, so that you wouldn't mourn for him but instead be happy with your baby, your family that you hoped so long for. He loves you and he did this for you."
Of course at the time, it angered me, I'd rather have him hear with me... I miss him. I love him. But I do truly believe he knew the right time to go, if there is one... because though I mourned heavily for him for the next couple days, I was quickly distracted by nervousness and excitement for the new life that was going to join our family.

I know Rockie is somewhere running in a field, loving life, with all the toys he can imagine!

It's been a while!

Hey everyone! It has been a while.. I'm so sorry! Of course you understand... I've become a mom and I've been incredibly busy! But I've had quite a few emails and requests to update my blog and get back on it... so here I go!

So let's get caught up a bit!

Pregnancy... what an AMAZING experience... yes, I still love that word, AMAZING. :) It was wonderful, well up until the last 2 months... oh wow, I was huge! And T-I-R-E-D! Back aches and feet aches... tiredness, swolleness.... just plain ugliness! Ha...

I was induced two weeks prior to 40 weeks... I won't bore you with all the details other than to tell you... I was done... and this baby had to get out of me because there was NO MORE ROOM! :D

I put some of my prego pics below :) First pic is a comparison of how big I got!

****DON’T READ IF YOU GET SICK EASILY..?****

What people don’t say about pregnancy…

TOP THINGS (SO FAR – 23 WEEKS) THAT ARE MOST UNATTRACTIVE ABOUT BEING PREGNANT…

1.) Your nose, constantly stuffy…causing items # 2 and # 3.
2.) Runny nose, having to run to the bathroom and blow your nose all the time.
3.) SNORING… Unattractive, loud snoring that you can’t deny because it even wakes YOU up.
4.) Laziness… sleeping all the time and not wanting to get up on the weekends to make yourself look decent.
5.) The obvious wEiGhT gAiN.
6.) Protruding belly with belly button stretching to the max, almost inside out… soon to be popped.
7.) Over active saliva glands?! What? Yes, it’s true… you have more saliva when you’re pregnant… I actually was talking to Justin in bed the other day and realized I all of a sudden had drool leaking out of my mouth. What the…?
8.) COLD SORE WHAT? I just got a COLD SORE! First off, I don’t get these. I had one when I was like TEN YEARS OLD. Apparently your hormones can cause these to pop up… ugh.
9.) Heels.. are out… flats a MUST.
10.) For me, I get crazy nose bleeds almost daily.
11.) The practical love affair you have with certain foods… could be unattractive. Haha.
12.) When you laugh too hard, sneeze or cough... possible tinkles… Umm yea, I just said it. ALL pregos know it!
13.) Sudden spout of anger or sadness.
14.) Swolleness has begun now… swollen legs… ankles, feet… oh and A$$.
15.) Leakiness in general.. oh yea, I said it. Boobs leak.. ugh.


MOST ATTRACTIVE THINGS DURING PREGNANCY … SO FAR ( 23 WEEKS)

1.) I have a beautiful baby boy… a human growing inside me :) Something I’ve been wishing forever!
2.) The glow people say you have… is the fact that huge smile I have on my face when this beautiful boy kicks or punches or rolls around inside me :) Or even when I just think about the miracle going on inside me.
3.) Miracles DO happen :D
4.) Your protruding belly. I think it can be so attractive, the pregnant belly :D
5.) The amazing smile that makes YOU smile and glow when your husband (or significant other) see’s or feels your baby for the first time. It’s a look you can’t replace and makes your glow even brighter!


For me, these main things, outweigh any “UNATTRACTIVENESS” I may have right now. I’m happier now with all the unattractiveness and uncomfortable sleeps due to back aches then I’ve ever been. I suggest everyone try it once… I absolutely LOVE it.

Week 22 AND Our son finally says hi to Justin :D

Hi Everyone! Sorry I haven’t put up any new updates. I’ve been so busy lately… well not soo busy but busy enough I haven’t typed up any of my thoughts or latest’s.

So, this past weekend was a very exciting weekend. Justin got to feel our baby boy for the first time! TWICE! I’ve been feeling the kicks, punches and flips quite a bit for a good 3-4 weeks. But, every time I put Justin’s hand on my belly the little guy gets shy and stays perfectly still! Hmmm… maybe this will work later in my pregnancy when the kicks are so hard they hurt,,,(from what people tell me).
So, this weekend, I swear I spent the whole weekend being lazy and staring at my belly, feeling him and that’s it. I felt as though I just spent the whole weekend with my baby boy. So Sunday afternoon, the little guy was going crazy and I could see my belly bump up from time to time, so I told Justin to lay his hand on my belly.
So we waited, while watching TV, and I felt a few light kicks… I get excited, “Did you feel those?” … Justin says “No…”. So we wait a little longer and BAM! A huge KICK! Justin looks at me in shock with wide eyes and smiles and removes his hand swiftly yelling “What the…!!!!!!! That’s SO WEIRD!”.
Ha ha, so I said “Do you want to try and feel again?” Justin says ”Um, “… SO, I took his hand and placed it on my belly and right away again, BAM! It’s like our little one was finally saying “Hey Dad, I’m in here! See how hard I can kick?!”
WOW. My friend and I were talking and she said she’s heard that some women get jealous when their husbands can finally feel the kicks… but I have to say, I was so ecstatic. It was amazing to finally share this experience! I was so happy I of course teared while laughing through it all. I loved sharing this with Justin. It really is amazing, how can you NOT want to share it? So other people know, or have a glimpse of what you’re feeling! I mean the fact is, I’m still feeling more than he will, he’s in my tummy… there will never be a way to explain that feeling from the inside. But, this is the best I can ask for, for Justin to feel it from the outside and be a part of this as much as possible.

SO, Now if you’re wondering what goes on during WEEK 22 of pregnancy…. This is the other “joys” I’ve been going through..

Following is taken from www.whattoexpect.com :

At 22 weeks pregnant, your uterus is now about an inch above your belly button — growing by leaps and bounds. But your belly's not the only thing that's growing these days. Have you looked down at your feet? Quick, look now — before you get too big to see them. If you're like many expectant women, you'll discover that feet grow too. Good news if you're looking to revamp your entire shoe collection, not so good if you've just indulged in a pricey pair of Manolos. While some foot growth can be attributed to pregnancy swelling (edema), there's another reason that feet increase in size during pregnancy and don't shrink back after. Remember relaxin — that pregnancy hormone that loosens the ligaments and joints around your pelvis so your baby can fit through? Well, relaxin doesn't discriminate between the ligaments you'd want loosened up (like those pelvic ones) and those you'd rather they'd just leave alone (like those on your feet). The result: When the ligaments in the feet are loosened, the bones under them tend to spread slightly, resulting, for many women, in a half or whole shoe-size increase. And tootsies that feel suddenly uncomfortably tight.


What’s the baby going through?

Guess what? At 22 weeks pregnant, your baby has finally broken the one-pound mark. How heavy is that? Hold a one-pound box of sugar in your hand the next time you're in the grocery story (and expect people to ask you why you're grinning from ear to ear). Is the box eight inches long? That's about the length your baby is too! This week, your sweetie is making more sense of the world as he or she develops the sense of touch. In fact, your little one's grip is quite developed by now — and since there's nothing else to grab in utero, he or she may sometimes hold on tight to that umbilical cord (don't worry — it's tough enough to handle it). The sense of sight is also getting more developed. Your fetus can now perceive light and dark much better than before (even with those fused eyelids). But remember — unless you're shining a flashlight over your belly (which you can do, by the way), it'll be mostly dark for your baby inside that cozy womb of yours.
Moving up from the eyes, the eyelashes and eyebrows are well formed now — and even more hair is sprouting atop that cute little head. You'd be quite surprised, though, if you could see your little one up close and in color. Hair at this stage of fetal development has no pigment, so it's bright white.


I have more to tell you about but I’ll leave this post how it is. Let me know if you have any questions! I’m going to post more later today or tomorrow about other things going on in our lives… such as .. possible HOME BUYING??? ;)

It's a BOY! Time to REGISTER!!!

Justin, me and my mother in law Barb walked into the waiting room… anticipating a 1 hour wait… as usual. To mine and Justins surprise, we waited 10 minutes and were called back! So I go into the room, change into my beautiful, fashionable gown and make my way to the second waiting area. I was sure, this is where my long wait is going to be, simply because this is a room I wait by myself and I have no one to chat with and pass the time. Then, I hear them taking my husband and mother in law back to the room and they then come to get me… that was about a 10 minute wait as well! Wow.. record timing.. 20 minutes and we’re in the U/S room laying on the bed awaiting the technician! My husband calls this, the third waiting room, ha. The tech came in almost right away. She was so fast… maybe a little too fast for my liking. She was measuring the lungs, heart all the organs, the hands, the feet, the legs, arms, shoulders… she kept pointing things out, I did see a few things but again, she was so fast it didn’t give us enough time on each part to actually make out the black and white fuzziness of the U/S. As I lay there patiently awaiting one of those words.. IT’S A GIRL or IT’S A BOY! It was almost the end of the U/S and I’m as tense as can be because I’m so excited to find out… not to mention I’m squinting incredibly hard at the screen to see if I can make out a boy or girl defining moment. This little guy was moving around like CRAZY! He didn’t really stay still the whole time!
Although he did have his legs crossed for the first portion and the technician would intermittently try to wiggle my belly and push in where his legs were to try and get him to open… in my head I’m screaming “OPEN THOSE LEGS LITTLE ONE!”

So by the end of the U/S, Barb says, “Are those the legs?” The technician said, yep! I knew instantly Barb saw something I had missed… The tech says, well, are you ready to hear my guess? I’m thinking.. UMM PAST READY LADY! TELL ME!...but I patiently say with a huge smile on my face, “Yes!”… Tech: “I’m definatley thinking a boy”.
Me: “ Wait… what?” *teary eyes, BIG smile* “OMG, I’m SO surprised, We SO thought it was a girl!

Justin: “Oh shit.”

Barb: *Laughing*

Justin: “He is going to be so hyper!”

Me: “ I don’t deserve Justins payback!” haha.

We are so excited.. Justin was shocked for a couple days… a little scared our baby boy will be a hellion, just like he was. But I think it will be fine. I’m so excited!



NEXT… REGISTERING!

We got to register Saturday, 9/4/10. 5 HOURS LATER… UGH, I was half dead and my muscles in my lower belly hurt SO bad. It was definitely a lot for one day! But, it was a lot of fun and I think we picked everything we needed. I’ve had to go in a couple times and add a couple items, take a couple off, but no biggy J We registered first at Target… registered for all that we could find at Target first, then we went to Babies R Us and registered for the rest!
Justin had fun choosing the car seat and stroller…. Testing them out around the store. Of course he picked the most expensive one, it was the lightest and easiest to maneuver… I liked it as well so I let him pick the stroller and car seat J
Justin was more into the electronics and fun stuff like that. He’s now dying to get the new COLOR TV baby monitor… it’s wireless and you can take the monitor in your hands anywhere around the house and see our little one sleeping! I decided not to register for this… Justin can purchase this one for the baby himself!
Then on to the diaper bags… what a hard choice! You want something a that you wont mind carrying all the time as well as something not too big and bulky but not too small… I tried to get Justin to pick one out but he’s decided he’ll be getting his diaper bag from Quicksilver. Ha.
We picked a more expensive nursery set, but we LOVE it. We believe this set will last a long time, exp since it converts into a toddler, twin and full bed! Perfect!
We both agreed on the bedding, oh I can’t wait to start on the nursery!

Now… the thing we’re not agreeing on at all… THE NAME! We had a girl name all picked out and were so happy with it.. Boy names.. IMPOSSIBLE! He comes up with names, I don’t like, I come up with AWESOME names (in my opinion ) and he doesn’t like them! Naming your child is like the biggest responsibility ever… EXP a BOY! You want to make sure it’s a strong name, not wimpy, not anything he can be made fun of.. so many things go into naming you baby! We want to pick the PERFECT name… Oh, it will come to us… hopefully soon.

So there’s my latest updates! Oh, and this lil’ man is moving around and kicking like crazy now a days! Justin still can’t feel him from the outside and you can’t see it… but I feel it all the time! I love it!

P.S... Everyone has an opinion... about EVERYTHING. Great. Yes, that is so much fun... really. ;)

ANYONE HAVE GUESSES?! AAH I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT!

Feeling the buggy boo :)... Feelin' the weight gain :(

I've started to feel our little buggy boo! It's just an awesome feeling. At first a couple weeks ago I was feeling very breif "flips" or "flutters", which only lasted a second... for this week, it's lasted for a good half a minute each time and they are through out the day. :)
I'm trying not to be so over dramatic, but it's like this life changing experience, every time I feel her. It's an addiction now... I find myself waiting for the next movement.

Yes, I said her... I don't know for sure yet what our little baby will be just yet... but I of course have my suspicions.

We'll find out the sex SOON... it's a surprise when we'll find out... BUT, when we decide to let everyone in on the secret... I'll be sure to post it!

Now... for the topic not fun to talk about... WEIGHT GAIN. EEW. I didn't think it would be so difficult to watch that scale go ... higher, higher.... oh and HIGHER every time I go to my doctor appointments.. but truthfully it's almost gut wrenching! Of course you know, you have to gain weight when you're pregnant... you brace yourself for it... but it's harder to deal with while it's happening then you might think!

I'm so scared of being that short chubby prego lady, ha. I guess it's time for me to get over that fear and deal with the weight gain at hand. I'm going to gain weight, I'm not going to be one of those lucky ladies who is tiny and simply has a basketball tummy... which is okay. I'm getting what I've been wishing for, for so long... I'm getting for free what I originally paid tons of money just to find out invitro didn't work! Who cares if a little weight gain comes with the wish? Don't nit pick when you're lucky to get what you want! ;)

PS. No promises I won't complain just a tad more about the weight gain later ;) ... besides isn't that my right as a pregnant lady? hehe.

Who made you the king?

Some days, I get so tired of... OPINIONS. I mean at some point , I just want to say ... WHO CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK?! Let me live my life, you live yours and we'll all be okay!

That's why I'm in love with the song by Sara Bareilles, King of Anything... it says everything I'd like to say. Basically, we're all entitled to our own opinion... which is fine... what makes it overwhelming is when you think we should TAKE your opinion and you get angry when we don't!

A few of my FAV versus from the song:

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine

I hate to break it to you babe,
but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see
You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown.

You can hear the song at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPk4_XfYhjg



Thanks to my friend Shannon Danis for telling me about this song!!! GREAT FIND ;)

HAPPY 9th ANNIVERSARY ON 8/21/10 Besty!

Happy Anniversary to me and my besty. For 9 years we've been best friends... AKA TFF's. We have been through SO much together! From cheerleader vs. trouble-maker to party buds to best friends. Crying in Taco Bell bathrooms, tongue ring piercings, CROOKED ear piercings, Uhaul parties, Yeager parties, jello shooter parties, TOGA Parties... lol..., TOK VS. FTK, Seats being removed from cars by parents, embarrasments, tears, boys, girls, parents, sisters... also many things I can't even put up on this blog :D ... all of it. And we've come out closer than ever. Through our years being friends we've had our ups and downs as any meaningful relationship does. We've come out of it, I believe better people and we've learned so much from each other. For us, we've learned to not judge each other, no matter what. We don't always agree and are opposites on quite a few things... but I think thats what makes us special and so close... we can show each other the "other side" of a situation and we're not afraid to tell each other the truth... BUT we also know when just being there and listening goes further than an opinion or telling each other we did the wrong thing. It's an even balance I think it takes years to learn... and there's still plenty more to learn!

Ashley Nicole Vaughan, I love you besty. I'm so happy we've stuck with each other through it all. I couldn't ask for a better friend. I miss you! XOXO


Below, my gift to Ashley! ;)