R.I.P. Rockie

Three days before I was scheduled to be induced, Rockie ( our wonderful Lab/ coon hound/ shepard mix) took a turn for the worst. He had been going through a lot of issues for the past 6 months but had been getting better.
Well, all of a sudden we noticed bruises on his belly.. with in a week his whole tummy was like a huge black and blue bruise... it was internal bleeding.

We had done everything we could to make Rockie better but it was now time to make a choice... How could this happen??? Rockie is the best dog in the world, the most loyal, he's been here for me through thick and thin, the one that listened to me when I needed someone to talk to. He gave amazing hugs and he was an AMAZING dog. I just wanted Maddox to know Rockie. I had been praying that Rockie would get through his sickness and be there for Maddox, atleast for the first 5 years... was that too much to ask? Rockie was only 8 years old... I wasn't ready to let him go.

But, we had to, I couldnt watch him suffer and be in pain, he couldnt get up anymore and he was only holding on because I couldnt let him go. We took him to the vet and said our goodbyes. Justin ( my husband ) couldnt stay in the room. My father was there with me and also my friend Brent (which was my ex boyfriend who originally got Rockie with me).
I held Rockie and gave him so much love and pet his ear, the way i always do, i held his paw and I told him it was okay. I promised I'd see him again and I promised Maddox would know about him. I told him how much I loved him. He looked up at me as I kissed his nose, he finally fell asleep. In moments he was gone. And I was heart broken.
I walked out of the room and my husband held me as I cried. We finally got to the car, I didnt want to leave Rockie... My mom pulled up from Va Beach just in time... she got there to be there for me.

Though this was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through, my mom did make an astonishing discovery for me... she told me, "Amanda, do you realize what Rockie did for you? He waited, he spent all the time he could with you, then he decided it was time because he didn't want to be a burden when you were reaching a time in your life that is the hardest. He chose this time, so that you wouldn't mourn for him but instead be happy with your baby, your family that you hoped so long for. He loves you and he did this for you."
Of course at the time, it angered me, I'd rather have him hear with me... I miss him. I love him. But I do truly believe he knew the right time to go, if there is one... because though I mourned heavily for him for the next couple days, I was quickly distracted by nervousness and excitement for the new life that was going to join our family.

I know Rockie is somewhere running in a field, loving life, with all the toys he can imagine!

It's been a while!

Hey everyone! It has been a while.. I'm so sorry! Of course you understand... I've become a mom and I've been incredibly busy! But I've had quite a few emails and requests to update my blog and get back on it... so here I go!

So let's get caught up a bit!

Pregnancy... what an AMAZING experience... yes, I still love that word, AMAZING. :) It was wonderful, well up until the last 2 months... oh wow, I was huge! And T-I-R-E-D! Back aches and feet aches... tiredness, swolleness.... just plain ugliness! Ha...

I was induced two weeks prior to 40 weeks... I won't bore you with all the details other than to tell you... I was done... and this baby had to get out of me because there was NO MORE ROOM! :D

I put some of my prego pics below :) First pic is a comparison of how big I got!

****DON’T READ IF YOU GET SICK EASILY..?****

What people don’t say about pregnancy…

TOP THINGS (SO FAR – 23 WEEKS) THAT ARE MOST UNATTRACTIVE ABOUT BEING PREGNANT…

1.) Your nose, constantly stuffy…causing items # 2 and # 3.
2.) Runny nose, having to run to the bathroom and blow your nose all the time.
3.) SNORING… Unattractive, loud snoring that you can’t deny because it even wakes YOU up.
4.) Laziness… sleeping all the time and not wanting to get up on the weekends to make yourself look decent.
5.) The obvious wEiGhT gAiN.
6.) Protruding belly with belly button stretching to the max, almost inside out… soon to be popped.
7.) Over active saliva glands?! What? Yes, it’s true… you have more saliva when you’re pregnant… I actually was talking to Justin in bed the other day and realized I all of a sudden had drool leaking out of my mouth. What the…?
8.) COLD SORE WHAT? I just got a COLD SORE! First off, I don’t get these. I had one when I was like TEN YEARS OLD. Apparently your hormones can cause these to pop up… ugh.
9.) Heels.. are out… flats a MUST.
10.) For me, I get crazy nose bleeds almost daily.
11.) The practical love affair you have with certain foods… could be unattractive. Haha.
12.) When you laugh too hard, sneeze or cough... possible tinkles… Umm yea, I just said it. ALL pregos know it!
13.) Sudden spout of anger or sadness.
14.) Swolleness has begun now… swollen legs… ankles, feet… oh and A$$.
15.) Leakiness in general.. oh yea, I said it. Boobs leak.. ugh.


MOST ATTRACTIVE THINGS DURING PREGNANCY … SO FAR ( 23 WEEKS)

1.) I have a beautiful baby boy… a human growing inside me :) Something I’ve been wishing forever!
2.) The glow people say you have… is the fact that huge smile I have on my face when this beautiful boy kicks or punches or rolls around inside me :) Or even when I just think about the miracle going on inside me.
3.) Miracles DO happen :D
4.) Your protruding belly. I think it can be so attractive, the pregnant belly :D
5.) The amazing smile that makes YOU smile and glow when your husband (or significant other) see’s or feels your baby for the first time. It’s a look you can’t replace and makes your glow even brighter!


For me, these main things, outweigh any “UNATTRACTIVENESS” I may have right now. I’m happier now with all the unattractiveness and uncomfortable sleeps due to back aches then I’ve ever been. I suggest everyone try it once… I absolutely LOVE it.

Week 22 AND Our son finally says hi to Justin :D

Hi Everyone! Sorry I haven’t put up any new updates. I’ve been so busy lately… well not soo busy but busy enough I haven’t typed up any of my thoughts or latest’s.

So, this past weekend was a very exciting weekend. Justin got to feel our baby boy for the first time! TWICE! I’ve been feeling the kicks, punches and flips quite a bit for a good 3-4 weeks. But, every time I put Justin’s hand on my belly the little guy gets shy and stays perfectly still! Hmmm… maybe this will work later in my pregnancy when the kicks are so hard they hurt,,,(from what people tell me).
So, this weekend, I swear I spent the whole weekend being lazy and staring at my belly, feeling him and that’s it. I felt as though I just spent the whole weekend with my baby boy. So Sunday afternoon, the little guy was going crazy and I could see my belly bump up from time to time, so I told Justin to lay his hand on my belly.
So we waited, while watching TV, and I felt a few light kicks… I get excited, “Did you feel those?” … Justin says “No…”. So we wait a little longer and BAM! A huge KICK! Justin looks at me in shock with wide eyes and smiles and removes his hand swiftly yelling “What the…!!!!!!! That’s SO WEIRD!”.
Ha ha, so I said “Do you want to try and feel again?” Justin says ”Um, “… SO, I took his hand and placed it on my belly and right away again, BAM! It’s like our little one was finally saying “Hey Dad, I’m in here! See how hard I can kick?!”
WOW. My friend and I were talking and she said she’s heard that some women get jealous when their husbands can finally feel the kicks… but I have to say, I was so ecstatic. It was amazing to finally share this experience! I was so happy I of course teared while laughing through it all. I loved sharing this with Justin. It really is amazing, how can you NOT want to share it? So other people know, or have a glimpse of what you’re feeling! I mean the fact is, I’m still feeling more than he will, he’s in my tummy… there will never be a way to explain that feeling from the inside. But, this is the best I can ask for, for Justin to feel it from the outside and be a part of this as much as possible.

SO, Now if you’re wondering what goes on during WEEK 22 of pregnancy…. This is the other “joys” I’ve been going through..

Following is taken from www.whattoexpect.com :

At 22 weeks pregnant, your uterus is now about an inch above your belly button — growing by leaps and bounds. But your belly's not the only thing that's growing these days. Have you looked down at your feet? Quick, look now — before you get too big to see them. If you're like many expectant women, you'll discover that feet grow too. Good news if you're looking to revamp your entire shoe collection, not so good if you've just indulged in a pricey pair of Manolos. While some foot growth can be attributed to pregnancy swelling (edema), there's another reason that feet increase in size during pregnancy and don't shrink back after. Remember relaxin — that pregnancy hormone that loosens the ligaments and joints around your pelvis so your baby can fit through? Well, relaxin doesn't discriminate between the ligaments you'd want loosened up (like those pelvic ones) and those you'd rather they'd just leave alone (like those on your feet). The result: When the ligaments in the feet are loosened, the bones under them tend to spread slightly, resulting, for many women, in a half or whole shoe-size increase. And tootsies that feel suddenly uncomfortably tight.


What’s the baby going through?

Guess what? At 22 weeks pregnant, your baby has finally broken the one-pound mark. How heavy is that? Hold a one-pound box of sugar in your hand the next time you're in the grocery story (and expect people to ask you why you're grinning from ear to ear). Is the box eight inches long? That's about the length your baby is too! This week, your sweetie is making more sense of the world as he or she develops the sense of touch. In fact, your little one's grip is quite developed by now — and since there's nothing else to grab in utero, he or she may sometimes hold on tight to that umbilical cord (don't worry — it's tough enough to handle it). The sense of sight is also getting more developed. Your fetus can now perceive light and dark much better than before (even with those fused eyelids). But remember — unless you're shining a flashlight over your belly (which you can do, by the way), it'll be mostly dark for your baby inside that cozy womb of yours.
Moving up from the eyes, the eyelashes and eyebrows are well formed now — and even more hair is sprouting atop that cute little head. You'd be quite surprised, though, if you could see your little one up close and in color. Hair at this stage of fetal development has no pigment, so it's bright white.


I have more to tell you about but I’ll leave this post how it is. Let me know if you have any questions! I’m going to post more later today or tomorrow about other things going on in our lives… such as .. possible HOME BUYING??? ;)

It's a BOY! Time to REGISTER!!!

Justin, me and my mother in law Barb walked into the waiting room… anticipating a 1 hour wait… as usual. To mine and Justins surprise, we waited 10 minutes and were called back! So I go into the room, change into my beautiful, fashionable gown and make my way to the second waiting area. I was sure, this is where my long wait is going to be, simply because this is a room I wait by myself and I have no one to chat with and pass the time. Then, I hear them taking my husband and mother in law back to the room and they then come to get me… that was about a 10 minute wait as well! Wow.. record timing.. 20 minutes and we’re in the U/S room laying on the bed awaiting the technician! My husband calls this, the third waiting room, ha. The tech came in almost right away. She was so fast… maybe a little too fast for my liking. She was measuring the lungs, heart all the organs, the hands, the feet, the legs, arms, shoulders… she kept pointing things out, I did see a few things but again, she was so fast it didn’t give us enough time on each part to actually make out the black and white fuzziness of the U/S. As I lay there patiently awaiting one of those words.. IT’S A GIRL or IT’S A BOY! It was almost the end of the U/S and I’m as tense as can be because I’m so excited to find out… not to mention I’m squinting incredibly hard at the screen to see if I can make out a boy or girl defining moment. This little guy was moving around like CRAZY! He didn’t really stay still the whole time!
Although he did have his legs crossed for the first portion and the technician would intermittently try to wiggle my belly and push in where his legs were to try and get him to open… in my head I’m screaming “OPEN THOSE LEGS LITTLE ONE!”

So by the end of the U/S, Barb says, “Are those the legs?” The technician said, yep! I knew instantly Barb saw something I had missed… The tech says, well, are you ready to hear my guess? I’m thinking.. UMM PAST READY LADY! TELL ME!...but I patiently say with a huge smile on my face, “Yes!”… Tech: “I’m definatley thinking a boy”.
Me: “ Wait… what?” *teary eyes, BIG smile* “OMG, I’m SO surprised, We SO thought it was a girl!

Justin: “Oh shit.”

Barb: *Laughing*

Justin: “He is going to be so hyper!”

Me: “ I don’t deserve Justins payback!” haha.

We are so excited.. Justin was shocked for a couple days… a little scared our baby boy will be a hellion, just like he was. But I think it will be fine. I’m so excited!



NEXT… REGISTERING!

We got to register Saturday, 9/4/10. 5 HOURS LATER… UGH, I was half dead and my muscles in my lower belly hurt SO bad. It was definitely a lot for one day! But, it was a lot of fun and I think we picked everything we needed. I’ve had to go in a couple times and add a couple items, take a couple off, but no biggy J We registered first at Target… registered for all that we could find at Target first, then we went to Babies R Us and registered for the rest!
Justin had fun choosing the car seat and stroller…. Testing them out around the store. Of course he picked the most expensive one, it was the lightest and easiest to maneuver… I liked it as well so I let him pick the stroller and car seat J
Justin was more into the electronics and fun stuff like that. He’s now dying to get the new COLOR TV baby monitor… it’s wireless and you can take the monitor in your hands anywhere around the house and see our little one sleeping! I decided not to register for this… Justin can purchase this one for the baby himself!
Then on to the diaper bags… what a hard choice! You want something a that you wont mind carrying all the time as well as something not too big and bulky but not too small… I tried to get Justin to pick one out but he’s decided he’ll be getting his diaper bag from Quicksilver. Ha.
We picked a more expensive nursery set, but we LOVE it. We believe this set will last a long time, exp since it converts into a toddler, twin and full bed! Perfect!
We both agreed on the bedding, oh I can’t wait to start on the nursery!

Now… the thing we’re not agreeing on at all… THE NAME! We had a girl name all picked out and were so happy with it.. Boy names.. IMPOSSIBLE! He comes up with names, I don’t like, I come up with AWESOME names (in my opinion ) and he doesn’t like them! Naming your child is like the biggest responsibility ever… EXP a BOY! You want to make sure it’s a strong name, not wimpy, not anything he can be made fun of.. so many things go into naming you baby! We want to pick the PERFECT name… Oh, it will come to us… hopefully soon.

So there’s my latest updates! Oh, and this lil’ man is moving around and kicking like crazy now a days! Justin still can’t feel him from the outside and you can’t see it… but I feel it all the time! I love it!

P.S... Everyone has an opinion... about EVERYTHING. Great. Yes, that is so much fun... really. ;)

ANYONE HAVE GUESSES?! AAH I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT!

Feeling the buggy boo :)... Feelin' the weight gain :(

I've started to feel our little buggy boo! It's just an awesome feeling. At first a couple weeks ago I was feeling very breif "flips" or "flutters", which only lasted a second... for this week, it's lasted for a good half a minute each time and they are through out the day. :)
I'm trying not to be so over dramatic, but it's like this life changing experience, every time I feel her. It's an addiction now... I find myself waiting for the next movement.

Yes, I said her... I don't know for sure yet what our little baby will be just yet... but I of course have my suspicions.

We'll find out the sex SOON... it's a surprise when we'll find out... BUT, when we decide to let everyone in on the secret... I'll be sure to post it!

Now... for the topic not fun to talk about... WEIGHT GAIN. EEW. I didn't think it would be so difficult to watch that scale go ... higher, higher.... oh and HIGHER every time I go to my doctor appointments.. but truthfully it's almost gut wrenching! Of course you know, you have to gain weight when you're pregnant... you brace yourself for it... but it's harder to deal with while it's happening then you might think!

I'm so scared of being that short chubby prego lady, ha. I guess it's time for me to get over that fear and deal with the weight gain at hand. I'm going to gain weight, I'm not going to be one of those lucky ladies who is tiny and simply has a basketball tummy... which is okay. I'm getting what I've been wishing for, for so long... I'm getting for free what I originally paid tons of money just to find out invitro didn't work! Who cares if a little weight gain comes with the wish? Don't nit pick when you're lucky to get what you want! ;)

PS. No promises I won't complain just a tad more about the weight gain later ;) ... besides isn't that my right as a pregnant lady? hehe.

Who made you the king?

Some days, I get so tired of... OPINIONS. I mean at some point , I just want to say ... WHO CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK?! Let me live my life, you live yours and we'll all be okay!

That's why I'm in love with the song by Sara Bareilles, King of Anything... it says everything I'd like to say. Basically, we're all entitled to our own opinion... which is fine... what makes it overwhelming is when you think we should TAKE your opinion and you get angry when we don't!

A few of my FAV versus from the song:

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine

I hate to break it to you babe,
but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see
You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown.

You can hear the song at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPk4_XfYhjg



Thanks to my friend Shannon Danis for telling me about this song!!! GREAT FIND ;)

HAPPY 9th ANNIVERSARY ON 8/21/10 Besty!

Happy Anniversary to me and my besty. For 9 years we've been best friends... AKA TFF's. We have been through SO much together! From cheerleader vs. trouble-maker to party buds to best friends. Crying in Taco Bell bathrooms, tongue ring piercings, CROOKED ear piercings, Uhaul parties, Yeager parties, jello shooter parties, TOGA Parties... lol..., TOK VS. FTK, Seats being removed from cars by parents, embarrasments, tears, boys, girls, parents, sisters... also many things I can't even put up on this blog :D ... all of it. And we've come out closer than ever. Through our years being friends we've had our ups and downs as any meaningful relationship does. We've come out of it, I believe better people and we've learned so much from each other. For us, we've learned to not judge each other, no matter what. We don't always agree and are opposites on quite a few things... but I think thats what makes us special and so close... we can show each other the "other side" of a situation and we're not afraid to tell each other the truth... BUT we also know when just being there and listening goes further than an opinion or telling each other we did the wrong thing. It's an even balance I think it takes years to learn... and there's still plenty more to learn!

Ashley Nicole Vaughan, I love you besty. I'm so happy we've stuck with each other through it all. I couldn't ask for a better friend. I miss you! XOXO


Below, my gift to Ashley! ;)

Test Results are IN! ( Down Syndrome, Trisomy 13 & Trisomy 18)

Test results are in! We have a 1 in 10,000 chance our child will have any of the three illnesses mentioned above. This is the LOWEST risk you can have. This is just WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!!!!!!! I was sooo extatic to hear about his news on Friday, 7/30/10.... EXP considering I had a HORRIBLE day at work. I really needed some good news.

I have been very busy moving and with work so I haven't been able to update much.. but we've just moved into our temporary home... month to month until we HOPEFULLy buy a house soon.



SOOO... Eating healthy while you're packing, moving, unpacking, pregnant and have a husband who hasn't gained a pound for 14 years.. since before highschool... almost IMPOSSIBLE!!!

First off, it doesn't help that the sweets just taste SO much better... me and food have this whole new relationship that I can't break off! Breakfast food... yummmmy.


It's like all the will power that I used to have has gotten up and flown right out the window... not only that... but right out of this world! Is it easier to say... "I can eat this, I'm pregnant.." Yes, of course it is! Do I feel horrible after I eat it? Sad thing is... no, I don't at all!!!! I've gone through spurts of feeling bad a few times... but it generally takes a couple days.
I have found myself even dreaming of the sweet, sugary, cheezy, cheese danish in my sleep along with the amazing donuts and cheesecakes topped with strawberries... it's soooo bad! I'm like this weird person who's mind is all of a sudden consumed with food!

I find myself actually sick and tired of figureing out what to eat! When it's time for breakfast, lunch or dinner... I simply can't make up my mind because there are so many foods going through my brain! It's so tiring figuring out what it's going to be. I'm like this pregnant lady that has become a FOODAHOLIC! SOMEONE STOP ME!




Don't worry, I know I'm probably making this a bit worse than it is :) I certainly wouldn't be pinning THIS picture on me just yet :)




Okay, this is all I have to report for now! XOXO