Well, of course we are nervous, scared. As I talk to my sister, Sabrina and my best friend Ashley, I'm telling them... I think there is a HUGE difference in planning and trying to get pregnant and then KNOWING the actual day you will be getting pregnant.
On one hand... you try and try and move on with your regular life until bam, you are surprised (even if you're planning, its still a surprise to know you GOT pregnant), so any way, you try and try until you are pregnant... then you are just pregnant, no turning back and you are happy of course but you HAVE to deal with it because you're already pregnant.
Then, there's knowing the DAY that you will be getting pregnant... knowing that day is coming, knowing the exact day that your life will no longer be about you anymore.
We've been SO sure we want a baby and a couple weeks away, I'm scared... I will admit it. I'm freaking a little! So many months of... "No, sorry we can't do it this month, we need to test this" and another month going by and another month until finally it's here and it's becoming VERY REAL!
Have I thought about us not getting pregnant... have I thought about if this invitro DOES NOT work? I have said it out loud, "This may not work, we may not get pregnant"... but honestly, no, I can't imagine it won't work. In my mind, in two and a half weeks I will be pregnant and by this time next year... we will have our own baby. I can't imagine it won't work, which may be a bad thing but I can't even think of it not working. And this, this is what truly makes me feel better about getting pregnant sooner than we both originally planned. This is how I know I want it... because I couldn't imagine not going through with this.
And Justin, I love him for being here for me, I love him for doing this with me... he's been to every single doctors appt and test that I've had to do! He's been in the room when the doctor is doin the most uncomfortable things... he's been there for me, making jokes, cheering me up... holding my hand..... and you know what, he's not even scared... he's with me when I say, WE WILL BE PREGNANT IN TWO AND A HALF WEEKS!
I love you Justin Lee Kimmel!
:)
Hi! This blog is all about... well my scatter brained life. I'm sharing some fertility difficulties as well as some fertility surprises and other messy , fun, sad & happy situations in my life. Follow along and comment if you have anything to add!
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