HCG LEVEL TESTING....

Today, I have an appointment at the doctor to have more blood drawn, to test my HCG Levels. Since the Ultrasound was not much help, other than showing a dot in my uterus as well as and Endometrioma on my right ovary (great : / ) it simply wasn't "conclusive". So, we'll test my levels today to make sure they are going up and not down... or staying the same.

Wish me luck ... I'm praying everything is okay. We may just be earlier than we thought... I hope.

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, 5/23/10 we got back from camping. We had a GREAT time camping. It was fun, relaxing, good to be with good friends and very much needed!

On Sunday I was bout 13 days late for my period... now the week before when I was 6 days late, I took a pregnancy test... due to my sister forcing me. I had been exhausted and she said... " You could be pregnant!"... Of course I knew I wasn't and I took the test to shut her up.. and there it was, NEGATIVE. I knew it. :(

So Sunday when we got back I was still late, I decided... " I have one pregnancy test left, I'll just take it just because." I mean how many times have I done that? I've done that several time this year... well this time... BIG PLUS SIGN APPEARED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did this really happen?!? I showed Justin and asked him if he saw PLUS sign too?! He said, "Umm, yea.. but can we trust that thing?" Hahaha, So I made a doctors appointment for Monday :)

Monday came, I had my OB appt and they confirmed I'm pregnant :) NEXT, Is the first ultrasound, scheduled for Wednesday to see how far along I am.

WEDNESDAY: 5/26/10

Well I'm too early to find out the due date... rescheduling another ultrasound for next week! Hopefully we can see the heart beat then too. I'm diing to see it!


Just like "they" say... we stopped trying and began thinking other options... and then it happened :)

So far, I feel fine, my boobs are a little sore and I'm exhausted. Work can be a struggle at some points during the day because all I can think about is laying my head on my pillow and going back to sleep! But, I'll get through it :) We're just so happy we finally have this baby and we are praying s/he stays with us! Let's get past the first three months now!

SPRING IS HERE!

Spring is here :)

I've been working out, eating right and trying to get into shape. I've lost 12 pounds with about 10-14 more pounds to go!

Today is a busy day, both with work and home. Justin and I are going camping this weekend with some good friends :) We can't wait! Although, I may have gone a little out of control at the store yesterday, buying so many things.... I spent about $250.00 for a weekend camping trip. That doesn't even include the tent! ahah. That's okay, I want to be sure we are comfortable and warm!

Can't wait to relax for the weekend, Rockie is REALLY excited too :) I mean, he's getting old and needs some exercise.. he hasn't been camping since last year obviously and he LOVED it. So I can't wait to take him :)

*Pictures taken from Gooneycreek.com

I hope everyone else has a great weekend!

Invitro or Adoption? Both cost A LOT$$$$

Justin and I talk... Invitro... again? Sometimes, I say, I have to try again, just one more time. Then other times I say I don't know if I can go through that again. There's women out there that go through invitro several times.... They are so strong. I only wish I had that much strength in me. Maybe I do... I don't know yet because we certainly haven't made any final decisions yet.

I feel it getting close to decision time though... We need to decide, are we saving for another round of Invitro but this time, using two embryos? For a possiblity of twins? Oh, that would be amazing... i'm begging for just one... if we got two at once, would it be a lot? Yes, but I'd be thanking God if that happened :)

I've been reading a lot about adoption. Adoption from another country that is... if we're going to adopt we should help a child from another country, there's no point in waiting 5 years for a baby born in the United States. The point is, they are both a lot of money and a lot of time off work. The fact is I think we can only afford to do one... which one?

I guess we could try invitro once more and if it doensn't work, start saving for adoption a few years down the road. People don't generally start having kids until 30's these days... I just didn't want to wait until I'm 30. I'm ready to be a mom. All I think about DAILY is a baby. I think about what are we going to do next... make a decision.

Justin, he has said, "don't worry, we'll get pregnant!" But I don't think he realizes it probably won't happen... I feel more comfortable saying it won't then saying it will. I REALLY thought the invitro was going to work out last time and it is still killing me. I can't believe it will happen again. I don't want to feel that stab in my heart, feel my breath taken away, all my plans, all my hopes, all that love I was putting towards a baby that didn't stay. I talked... no begged to my stomache every day as we waited, for the baby to stay. Of course I think... what did I do wrong? I was to over weight? I had gained weight... was it work? Did I allow my work to stress me out too much? did i let the medicines stress me out too much? Did I let my emotions get the best of my body?

The question is.... can I handle all of these questions all over again? What was I meant for? I want to expierience mine and Justins baby growing in my belly. I imagine it all the time... is that all I will ever get? Imagination? Dreams? If so, that's okay... as long as the outcome is, I will be a Mom. I just wish I knew what we should do. Try again? Or adopt now? Should I waste more feelings/ emotions/ hope on trying again?

I don't know what I want to do... I know what Justin wants... to try again, he wants us to have our own... but what can I handle again? I just don't know yet.


Well, I'm getting an adoption packet in the mail from an adoption agency. I've talked to a woman on the phone a few times, it's comforting to know some questions can be answered, at least about adoption. I guess we'll make a decision when we can figure out just how much adoption will be. We'll figure out what we can do. What we can both live with.

A decision will have to be made... it's just when and what?