Day 14

Every other day, early AM dr appointments. I’m getting aggravated and worried because I’m still not ready. My ovaries are not full yet…. Though my right ovary is beginning to get more full, my left… not so much. My Doctor seemed annoyed as well… or maybe questionable…? He doesn’t think I’m as full as I SHOULD be…. Let’s just hope that in the next day or so I will get more full…. Wednesday, another testing to see where I’m at…

Sitting in the waiting room today, I can’t help but to stare at all the women int here… wondering why they are there. I look to see if they are wearing a ring, to see if their husband is with them or if they have no ring at all. I wonder what brings them here and what each one of their stories are. It’s hard not to wonder. On last Friday’s visit my mom came with me, we saw a lady with twins come in… I couldn’t help but to think… is she selfish to want more kids? Why is she paying more money for more? She already has two… Maybe even more that just didn’t come with her. I know that’s a ridiculous thought. And I don’t REALLY think it… everyone has the right to have as many kids as they can want/ handle/ afford. I know sometimes I get a little bitter but it’s only natural … right? I mean I shouldn’t be jealous of her… she obviously did In vitro to have the twins.
I guess I’m just ready for it so much so, that I feel like it’s not going to happen. It’s always something holding it off… and though the doctor has told me time and time again, be patient this is a long process… it’s hard not to get doubts when SOMETHING holds you back all the time.

So, my goal for this week… BE PATIENT… Or, as patient as I can stand.

Day 9

Well my mom is in town for Thanksgiving! She got to go with me to the early AM appointment today to monitor me. My arm is so soar from getting blood drawn every other day.. and, I’m not quite ready yet so I have to go back in on Friday morning…. The day after thanksgiving… when I’m supposed to be going Black Friday Shopping! UUGH, That’s fine though… the beauty of black Friday shopping is it starts at 4AM! I have to be to the doctor between 8AM and 9AM, So I can get some shopping done!

So these every other day dr appts wouldn’t be so bad if I could alternate my arms! My right arm SUCKS! They can never get the vein in it… so I’m stuck getting blood taken from the same arm, same spot every time… so it’s bruised which means it hurts that much more when getting a needle poked in it!

We are still early but I’m HOPING on Friday I’ll be ready to move forward.. it would be VERY ideal for us to have the egg retrieval this weekend… that way I don’t have to take off work! But, we’ll see!


In the mean time, tomorrow is Thanksgiving!!!!! This year, we're having Thanksgiving at our house.
It’s going to be a small one… which is perfect for us this year, Just me, Justin, my mom, Justins mom and dad as well as his brother Paul and his cousin Sean Mike. My mom is at home cooking today and I’ll join her when I get home! This weekend should be pretty relaxing I think. I’m just excited to have a 4 day weekend! AND, I’m even more excited to start decorating for Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!! I L-O-V-E CHRISTMAS!
Okay, that’s all I have today! CROSS YOUR FINGERS I GET GOOD NEWS FRIDAY!

Day 7

Today was more blood work and another ultrasound. Checking me to see if I’m ready for ovulation, ready for the egg retrieval.. Dr. D says it’s still too early : /
So I’ll be going back in on Weds EARLY 7AM again to do the blood work/ ultrasound again… hopefully I’ll be ready to get started!

IK, BLOOD WORK… I hate it by now! My veins used to be so good to get blood from! They use to be easily seen and stick o ut! Now, it seems like it’s always a hunt to find them! Since I had blood drawn just two days ago, my left arm is bruised still… my right arm SUCKS for getting blood… the nurse tried her best to fish around for the vein in the right arm… but couldn’t find it L SO, It had to go in the left arm… the bruised one.. if you’ve ever had a needle stuck in an already bruised arm… it’s not so fun… so now I’m sure I’ll have an even larger bruise. I’m sure it’s going to suck when I get more blood drawn two days from now!

Not to mention the appointment made me late to work again, an hour late. I won’t be taking a lunch to make up for the time but it sucks! EXP since no one knows that I’m doing this stuff, so it looks like I’m strolling into work at 10:15 like it’s no big deal… I hate that!

I’m just tired of going to the doctors! BUT, It’s for a good cause and to make Justin and my dream come true to have our family … so it is worth it!

Wish me luck on my next appointment!!! LET’S HOPE IT’S TIME TO MOVE FORWARD!

Baseline Monitoring

Today was my baseline. This is the beginning of the actual procedure.
The baseline assessment is very important to ensure that my body is ready to start IVF treatment. It involves having an ultrasound scan and a blood sample to check my womb, ovaries and hormone levels.
The ultrasound scan was performed with a vaginal scan as it gives a better image compared to an abdominal scan. The scan is used to check the lining of the womb and ovaries. It will diagnose abnormalities such as ovarian cysts, endometrium polyps, etc.
Dr. D also took the time to show me where my eggs were and explained that we have PLENTY of eggs to work with and that my ovaries looked GREAT! He told me if he even gave me fertility drugs I’d probably turn into an Easter egg! Which, the eggs were never the problem… the reason for the in vitro is my problem with getting the egg through the fallopian tube TO the uterus where it can be fertilized. Due to all the endometriomas and the surgeries my fallopian tubes basically don’t move anymore. Your fallopian tubes basically act like a vacuum, they suck out your eggs and then like a tube of a vacuum they move or float up and down to release the egg from the fallopian tube into the uterus….

A blood sample is usually taken to measure hormone levels such as estrogen, LH, FSH and AMH to assess ovarian reserve. The levels of these hormones may give an idea about the expected response to ovulation stimulation drugs. For instance, high levels of FSH may indicate poor response to ovarian stimulation, poor pregnancy rates and high rates of pregnancy loss regardless of age when compared with women who have normal results.
So we’ve paid the large amount of $$$ today and we are on our way to making our family :)

*** I AM NOT A DOCTOR.. I’M EXPLAINING THIS THROUGH MY OWN WORDS AS I UNDERSTAND IT… SO DON’T TAKE MEDICAL ADVICE FROM ME PLEASE*** LOL

The follicles are egg-containing areas inside the ovary. There are hundreds of thousands of follicles in each ovary, but during any one stimulation cycle only a few will accumulate fluid and grow large enough to appear on an ultrasound exam. Only the large follicles hold mature eggs.
The eggs are about a tenth of a millimeter in diameter, just under a size that is visible to the naked eye, so the actual egg cannot be seen on ultrasound. The follicle is about two hundred times bigger than the egg, and can be seen clearly when it is large enough. Each follicle usually contains one egg surrounded by granulosa cells. Granulosa cells surround the egg, produce the follicular fluid, produce estrogen, and support the egg in its development. In the normal menstrual cycle, only one follicle matures, reaching about an inch in diameter. Occasionally a follicle may not contain an egg, and even more rarely there may be two or more eggs per follicle.

Still waiting for the big day....

Well, of course we are nervous, scared. As I talk to my sister, Sabrina and my best friend Ashley, I'm telling them... I think there is a HUGE difference in planning and trying to get pregnant and then KNOWING the actual day you will be getting pregnant.
On one hand... you try and try and move on with your regular life until bam, you are surprised (even if you're planning, its still a surprise to know you GOT pregnant), so any way, you try and try until you are pregnant... then you are just pregnant, no turning back and you are happy of course but you HAVE to deal with it because you're already pregnant.

Then, there's knowing the DAY that you will be getting pregnant... knowing that day is coming, knowing the exact day that your life will no longer be about you anymore.
We've been SO sure we want a baby and a couple weeks away, I'm scared... I will admit it. I'm freaking a little! So many months of... "No, sorry we can't do it this month, we need to test this" and another month going by and another month until finally it's here and it's becoming VERY REAL!

Have I thought about us not getting pregnant... have I thought about if this invitro DOES NOT work? I have said it out loud, "This may not work, we may not get pregnant"... but honestly, no, I can't imagine it won't work. In my mind, in two and a half weeks I will be pregnant and by this time next year... we will have our own baby. I can't imagine it won't work, which may be a bad thing but I can't even think of it not working. And this, this is what truly makes me feel better about getting pregnant sooner than we both originally planned. This is how I know I want it... because I couldn't imagine not going through with this.
And Justin, I love him for being here for me, I love him for doing this with me... he's been to every single doctors appt and test that I've had to do! He's been in the room when the doctor is doin the most uncomfortable things... he's been there for me, making jokes, cheering me up... holding my hand..... and you know what, he's not even scared... he's with me when I say, WE WILL BE PREGNANT IN TWO AND A HALF WEEKS!
I love you Justin Lee Kimmel!
:)

Getting Married and then.. waiting....

After 4 months of trying we decided to go to the fertility specialist a couple months earlier just so we could set ourselves up and find out what we were in for. Once Dr. Dimatinna looked at the pictures from my surgery, he was honest and said... you should have come in right away. We were scared and of course I was PISSED that my doctor told us to wait 6 months. So.... here is where our journey with Invitro began. After 5 months of going to and from the doctor, testing this, testing that we have finally gotten the go ahead to move forward with invitro! Meanwhile, we had moved our wedding up to October 17th, 2009. We decided that since we would be getting pregnang soon we should make sure we have as little stress as possible. Now, we're just waiting for the end of November to come. In the mean time... lots of thinking time!

Planning

Justin and I got engaged in the begginning of March 2009. Shortly after we got engaged I had to have a surgery for Endometriosis. This was the second surgery for Endometriosis. I was lucky to not have one of my ovaries and half of the other taken out in my first surgery but the Endometriosis was surgically removed and with the second surgery I was very scared I wouldn't get so lucky. With Justin by my side I went through with the second surgery.

After the surgery I found out that the Endometriosis was pretty bad but the doctor was able to remove most of it without taking any reporductive organs. Good news! Now the not so great news... if we want to have children we should try with the next 6 months because that's the best time to get pregnant after the surgery.

So, Justin and I discussed it and I was so lucky to have a man want to be with me and be okay with having a child much sooner than either one of us had anticipated. So with a goodbye to the surgeon and a not so exciting answer back "Miracles can happen"... we began to try.

SOME INFORMATION ON ENDOMETRIOSIS COPIED FROM: http://www.endometriosisassn.org/endo.html

Endometriosis is a painful, chronic disease that affects 5 1/2 million women and girls in the USA and Canada, and millions more worldwide. It occurs when tissue like that which lines the uterus (tissue called the endometrium) is found outside the uterus -- usually in the abdomen on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and ligaments that support the uterus; the area between the vagina and rectum; the outer surface of the uterus; and the lining of the pelvic cavity. Other sites for these endometrial growths may include the bladder, bowel, vagina, cervix, vulva, and in abdominal surgical scars. Less commonly they are found in the lung, arm, thigh, and other locations.
This misplaced tissue develops into growths or lesions which respond to the menstrual cycle in the same way that the tissue of the uterine lining does: each month the tissue builds up, breaks down, and sheds. Menstrual blood flows from the uterus and out of the body through the vagina, but the blood and tissue shed from endometrial growths has no way of leaving the body. This results in internal bleeding, breakdown of the blood and tissue from the lesions, and inflammation -- and can cause pain, infertility, scar tissue formation, adhesions, and bowel problems.
What are the Symptoms of Endometriosis?
Pain before and during periods
Pain with sex
Infertility
Fatigue
Painful urination during periods
Painful bowel movements during periods
Other Gastrointestinal upsets such as diarrhea, constipation, nausea.
In addition, many women with endometriosis suffer from:
Allergies
Chemical sensitivities
Frequent yeast infections
Diagnosis is considered uncertain until proven by laparoscopy, a minor surgical procedure done under anesthesia. A laparoscopy usually shows the location, size, and extent of the growths. This helps the doctor and patient make better treatment choices.
What Causes Endometriosis?
The cause of endometriosis is unknown. The retrograde menstruation theory (transtubal migration theory) suggests that during menstruation some of the menstrual tissue backs up through the fallopian tubes, implants in the abdomen, and grows. Some experts believe that all women experience some menstrual tissue backup and that an immune system problem or a hormonal problem allows this tissue to grow in the women who develop endometriosis.
Another theory suggests that endometrial tissue is distributed from the uterus to other parts of the body through the lymph system or through the blood system. A genetic theory suggests that it may be carried in the genes in certain families or that some families may have predisposing factors to endometriosis.
Surgical transplantation has also been cited in many cases where endometriosis is found in abdominal scars, although it has also been found in such scars when accidental implantation seems unlikely.
Another theory suggests that remnants of tissue from when the woman was an embryo may later develop into endometriosis, or that some adult tissues retain the ability they had in the embryo stage to transform reproductive tissue in certain circumstances.
Research by the Endometriosis Association revealed a startling link between dioxin (TCCD) exposure and the development of endometriosis. Dioxin is a toxic chemical byproduct of pesticide manufacturing, bleached pulp and paper products, and medical and municipal waste incineration. The EA discovered a colony of rhesus monkeys that had developed endometriosis after exposure to dioxin. 79% of the monkeys exposed to dioxin developed endometriosis, and, in addition, the more dioxin exposure, the more severe the endo.